Eulogy

I think of my dad many times each day and it is still hard for me to believe that he is gone. Here is the eulogy that I gave at his memorial service:

Many of the qualities and traits that I possess, I feel I inherited from my dad: I am an early riser, I enjoy reading fantasy and science fiction, I love history, sports and travel, & I enjoy friends and family, as did he. But how do you sum up a lifetime? How do you do justice to someone that has been so many things to so many people? This is a question that I have struggled with over the course of the past week. I don't have the answer, but I want to share with you three things I've learned through his example: These things he learned from his parents, Billie and Blake.

1. Enjoy life and follow your hearts' desire. When Erik and I were small, we looked forward to “foot rides” when Dad got home from work. We would wrap our arms and legs around his legs, and sit down on his feet. He would walk us around the house, one on each foot. That is an example of enjoying life, little by little, day by day. Dad loved the Razorbacks and attended more Razorback events than anyone I know. Many of you here have listened to, watched or attended games, bowls, and tournaments in sometimes faraway places with him. He passed this love on to his grandsons, who all learned to “call the hogs” very early in life. Those are some of the best times; memories we will always cherish. He also loved history and travel. He taught us to be open to new experiences and see the world through others' eyes. With him, we traveled to places like Portugal, Finland, Canada, Mexico, and of course, Sweden. And what child can say they visited Russia during the height of the Cold War? Dad, you gave us these experiences. He told me many times that he wanted me to get a college education, but he didn’t care what the degree was in. He knew that whatever I chose, it would need to be something I was passionate about. He wanted me to follow my own course, and that only a course of my own choosing could lead to happiness. I was so touched when I learned that he cried during my wedding ceremony. I know he enjoyed that day as much as I did. Over the course of the past week, I have had the desire to freeze time. Each day that slips by is a day that further separates me from him, but dad would not want this. So to honor him we all must enjoy life and follow our hearts' desire as he did.

 2. Be dependable and resolute. Those of you that knew my dad well knew that he was a very dependable person. He was more than punctual, he was early. We all knew that when Dad said 5:00, he really meant 4:30 or 4:45. This may seem trivial, but not when it is applied to all aspects of life, as he did. You could always count on Brent to get things done. He was always there at the appointed time and place, (and he had probably been waiting there for quite some time by the time others arrived). Being resolute can be construed as a positive or a negative quality. I know, because I have inherited this quality from him. But being resolute can mean being determined and steadfast. These qualities, I am sure, are what carried him so far in his professional career. He never gave up on the things and people he believed in.

3. Be Loyal Dad was a loyal in so many ways. He was loyal to his beliefs, his country, he was a loyal husband and father, and a loyal friend. For example, Dad believed in buying American. He always had an American-made car. It was just a principle that he had. He didn't try to convince others to do the same. In addition to his loyalty to American-made cars, dad was loyal to his family. Though their health was sometimes failing, he cared for his mother, Billie, and his wife, Solveig. The past few years have been difficult, but Dad wanted to be there for both of them, taking them to appointments and checking on them daily. On the morning after my mother's cancer diagnosis one year ago, he and I were up early discussing how much Solveig meant to both of us. We both cried that morning, and developed our plan of attack on her cancer. He said to me on that morning, “She does so much for everyone.” And she does. Dad told me that morning that he did not know how he could survive without her. He never had to. She was with him throughout his life, for almost 42 years, to the end.

So follow Brent's lead; These are lessons that he taught us all: Enjoy life and follow your hearts' desire, Be dependable and resolute, and be loyal. I know that Dad loved us all, and I love you too, Dad.

I want to close with the reading of some scriptures:

Psalm 61: 1-4 Hear my cry, O God; listen to my prayer. From the ends of the earth I call to you, I call as my heart grows faint; Lead me to the rock that is higher than I. For you have been my refuge, a strong tower against the foe. I long to dwell in your tent forever and take refuge in the shelter of your wings.

And from Isaiah 61: 1-3 The Spirit of the Lord is upon me, because the Lord has anointed me to preach good news to the oppressed. He has sent me to bind up the brokenhearted, to proclaim freedom for the captives and to open the prison to those that are bound, To proclaim the year of the Lord's favor, to comfort all who mourn and provide for those who grieve To bestow on them a crown of beauty instead of ashes of sorrow, The oil of gladness instead of tears of mourning, and a garment of praise instead of a spirit of despair. They will be called trees of righteousness, a planting of the Lord, that he may be glorified.